washers, dryers, and some serious perspective.

i won't lie to you. our little two bedroom apartment does feel a little cramped sometimes. we don't have nearly enough closet space now that we are a family of three...and let's face it, babies tend to come with a lot of stuff. however, i truly would not mind it all so much if we just had  

our own washer and dryer. 

you see babies make a considerable amount of laundry. i can't tell you how many times an adorable morning outfit needs to be changed just a few hours later because of some poop explosion and/or major spit up. i sometimes wait now to change her into her day clothes in the morning just in case she decides her breakfast looks better on either side of her outfit. however, i can't just pop a load into the washer in between feedings, naps, or playtime. we have to instead lug it all to a separate building. we are talking about laundry for 3 people as well as detergent and things lugged outside to a completely different location. 

since it is a community laundry room on a college campus the place is usually in chaos. students will leave their stuff in washers and dryers for hours after the fact, so that often you are forced to pull their stuff out so you can put your things in. or you go to grab your clothes a minute too late, and they are scattered on top of the washing machine. it sucks, but sadly our apartment does not have the hook up for a washing machine and dryer. so while the other resident directors get their very own cleaning machines we do not. 

i've tried to strap Zeze in her sling a few times and carry down a few loads....but it is hard. between holding her and loading laundry and then heading back to our apartment for 30 minutes while the clothes wash, to heading back down to put them in the dryer for 45 minutes, to then picking them all up and lugging them back up my three flights of stairs to my apartment with baby in tow is just difficult, time consuming, and a serious workout, which i suppose doesn't hurt, but still!

i mean we are talking laundry for 3 people here. even students doing laundry are only washing for themselves.

 i'm not going lie. i have shed tears on more then one occasion in frustration over this.

i want ease, i want convenience, i want things my way.

 how american does that sound?

we want our lives the way we want it, when we want it, and how we want it. we hate lines, we hate waiting, we hate having less, we are always after more. the thing is despite my inconvenience, i'm truly blessed.  not having a washing machine and dryer is nothing when i think of having my wonderful husband, this beautiful girl that i am able to stay home with because of where we live, family, friends, students, and wonderful people in our lives. we have enough to eat and drink. we have a roof over our heads. we have more than we lack.                perspective.

                                                                                 it's not to say i won't have moments where i pine over a washer and dryer, but i think i need to always stop and remember what i do have.

soon come.

a month from tomorrow is her estimated due date.

as she moves and kicks inside me now i wonder when she is going to decide she's ready to greet the world. 

will she come early? late? right on schedule?

will she look like me? like him? like us? 

with her arrival i know our world is going to be rocked. it suddenly won't be just two of us, and we suddenly will have to think of this other little person.

i used to tell people i never realized how selfish i was until i got married....but with her arrival i know this reality wil triple. life will never be quite the same.

excitedly and terrified we wait, and we also remember. 

we remember the miscarriage i had nearly a year ago. 

we remember the pain and the loss. 

we remember finding out about this new blessing over five months later. 

i remember praying this time around that even in her tiniest state she would know her maker and feel His presence. that she would come into this world singing His song on her lips and knowing His love in her heart. 

like most women nearing the end of their third trimester i live in a state of discomfort....and yet it will all be forgotten when she comes and we hold her and we start this journey as a family.

soon come.

news of no great importance.

- i need to start studying for the GRE. blah blah blah. i hate standardized testing. HATE it. why do you need to take a test to get into grad school? why can't a college degree be enough? how is this one stupid 4-5 hour test going to prove that i will be an adequate grad student? huh? huh? i just don't get it. yes that is my rant.

- debo and i are now proud macbook owners. it was the last thing we bought before leaving pittsburgh last tuesday. i know it's about time.

- can i just say i love my husband so much? jonathan joseph dibenedetto you are wonderful and i can't wait to pop out half a dozen of your children. ;-D

- i hurt my knee on thursday. embarrassingly it was while i was dancing with my 14 month year old, kiki, at my apt. somehow i planted my leg in some weird fashion and my knee popped out of its socket and then popped back in. it hurt. like hell. poor kiki was probably wondering why her babysitter was lying on the ground grasping her knee and moaning in agony. i am determined to recover however. especially as i plan to run again in the annual hodson half marathon this april. it looks however that my training will have to start out a little slower then planned as i work my knee back into shape via walking.

- our boys are moving back in for a new semester. i forgot how much i miss them when they are not around.

- trusting God is not always easy, but i have this knowledge in my heart that everything is going to be alright, and i know it's Him.

- i think i want to take a bath. usually at 10pm i am getting ready for bed (as nannying all day is quite exhausting and i need my rest). however, i am off tomorrow, a weekday rarity (except as of late, considering i just spent two weeks in PA visiting family over the holidays), but either way i am going to enjoy this just the same.

- i've been way too many hours on this computer today.

so signing off! <3

shale, screen your worry from what you won't ever find.

thanksgiving has come and gone and with it the long weekend. debo and i had a relaxing time with friends and each other. i think it was all much needed. God has been so good to us here in indiana, in more ways then we could have ever imagined.

the weekend before thanksgiving, hodson hall teamed up with it's sister dorm evan's hall in it's newly annual "Evening of Elegance." basically it's an excuse to get dressed up and eat in the banquet hall, with pretty decorations, and some live entertainment. here are some snap shots from that event...

debo and i.

the boys and i were striking our band pose.

hodson & evan's staff.

our beloved hodson staff.

and yes that is me randomly dressed up in a pinapple that looks like a kiwi costume. debo had this stupid thing for res-life advertising.

good times. good times.

so, with the end of thanksgiving starts the christmas season. i look forward to festive activities ahead with our family, friends, and of course our hodson boys. it's hard not to love this time of year. here are some pictures from past holidays.

me & some of my cousins.

our staff last year re-enacting the nativity.

i also, look forward to cuddling w/ this cutie. my chance.

*sigh* lots of love.

thankful.

happy thanksgiving all!

as i write i am currently watching the macy's day parade on tv. gearing up for the following Best in Show - Dog Show, and then of course Miracle on 34th street. it has always been tradition in my fam to watch thru all these things while preparing the thanksgiving meal.

this year debo and i are not spending the holiday w/ any fam. debo has to be on duty for thanksgiving, so instead of traveling to PA we are here in indiana. it's a strange thing, and i def. miss the fam today. however, i don't miss traveling 6 hrs for a short break.

so, instead debo and i are hosting our own thanksgiving. we are having another RD couple over for dinner. and on the menu is of course turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, homemade bread, and stuffing. we have to keep it small since it's only four of us. it's funny because when i read that list it seems like quite a bit, but thanksgiving w/ my fam in pittsburgh is like a meal for 20 or more people, and we have so many different kinds of dishes it's crazy. things like fennel, beef, sweet potatoes, coleslaw, etc. so much! ha.

also, funny random thought, but in my family i was never in charge of making the turkey. my aunt always did that, and since being married i have roasted 5 turkeys for various things. turkey is actually the easiest thing to make since once you season it, it cooks itself. this year i'm going to season w/ butter and herbs, as well as some chopped onions and apples. yummy!

God has been so good. i am so blessed with a loving husband. a home. a job. friends and family that are so wonderful. i am so thankful.

"Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!" ~ Psalm 46:10

and thank you Jesus for delivering us from this world. amen.

i wish you all the best thanksgivings! <3

<3

*sigh* oh friday evening how i love thee. it's so nice to be done with a busy week. now i'm going to spend the evening with my hub-hub. dinner, a movie, and unwinding.

we need this so bad. we have hardly had two minutes alone together at all. the plus and minus of living w/ college students 24/7.

have a lovely weekend where you are!

a day in pictures.

off to the pumpkin farm...

tall john and mocha.

nothing like making out in fake john deer tractor.

tall john and i picked the perfect pumpkins (for us)

going in for the stem.

taking off the tops.

debo, tall, and myself pulling out the guts.

hannah & i making pumpkin seeds.

still pulling out guts.

debo starting to stencil.

oh fussy.

the finished products. (mine is the warty pumpkin with the simple face)

the boys worked hard...and did really great for it being the FIRST pumpkin they have ever carved.

debo & i loving over the pumpkins.

i confess i was a bit smitten over marvin...my pumpkin.

i've left bethlehem and i feel free.

Fall is officially here! hello october. hello cool fall weather. hello leave changes, pumpkins, and mulled cider.

i dare say that i am greatly enjoying the ushering in of fall this october. it is my favorite season of the year and this is my favorite month. recently i have been dragging my poor husband on these walks with me through the local high school(s) cross country path that makes it way past the athletic fields, brush fields, and farm fields. the line of trees in the background make for a lovely view which i am hoping will only grow more beautiful with the changing colors.

in other news i have found a local pumpkin farm that debo and i are going to be going to next weekend. i'm so excited, it has hay-rides, you pick pumpkins in the fields, it has corn mazes, a country store, petting zoo, and more. our good friend tall john is coming to visit us next week as well, and we shall be dragging him with us on this adventure, with most likely a few of our hodson boys, and hopefully a nice group of the other RDs.

things have been so busy as of late. debo and i were talking about how we are lucky to get and hour together. between our boys being over, coffee dates with my girlfriends and students, and just other things that book our time (for instance, last night i was on a panel discussion about female relationships/camaraderie in our sister building) and work during the day, its enough to say "bring on the weekend!" tonight debo and one of our boys, fussy, is helping our friend andra move a couch, so i'm going to have andra and fussy over for dinner afterwards. then it will be off to the gym and over to steph's apt for The Office. good times. :-D

on a completely different note...its been so cute bundling my kiddos up and taking them outside to play. they crack me up. also, keagan who is not even two yet is obsessed with letters. he already knows what most of them are and he can say for practically all of them the sounds they make. he doesn't even talk yet besides some basic words, but he knows his alphabet! it's crazy! being with kids so much, and talking to moms def. makes me look forward to the day i become a mama. thats a few years down the road mind you! (i'm only 23) but i think it such a beautiful thing and i am really looking forward to it.

i hope its becoming Fall where you are! :-D

so long sweet summer...

wow. it's been a little while.

i must say this september has been positively lovely. the weather has just been perfect, not too hot, not to cold, and def. ushering in what i hope to be a beautiful autumn. i absolutely adore the Fall. growing up in my family, fall meant a lot of traditions: pumpkin farm trip, pumpkin carving, family bon fires, birthday parties (for like 4 different cousins), long walks, craft show hopping, applefest, scary movie watching, thanksgiving gathering, steeler supporting (not to mention the start of hockey season), just to name a few.

sadly living 6 hours from my family just kinda sucks sometimes. i won't be able to do all of those things with them. *sigh* however, I will be in pittsburgh in october for a wedding i am in, and i'm staying a day and half afterwards just to spend time with my mama (which means= long walks, craftshow going). so i have to look on the brightside. plus, debo and i are going to hit up a local pumpkin farm here in indiana, and we are going to have our own thanksgiving this year with some of the RD's here over that break, i also hope to check out some different festivals and things in the marion/indianapolis area. you have to make the best out of where you are, so debo and i shall.

wow, God is so good. i am enjoying my fall here in indiana so far (which is saying something compared to last year). i think i'm just growing and i'm really okay with that.

why worry?

so i'm not sure why i let myself get overwhelmed. i really shouldn't at all. everything falls into place. everything.

- we our in the process of buying a new car, and thanks to the government we might actually be able to get a good deal because our current car is super old and has poor gas milage. thank you obama.

- i asked for a pay raise out of necessity, which i hated doing because i don't like things to be about money. i got it and the mom i work for also is super willing to be accomodating with me with a possibility of taking on another kiddo on top of her two.

- i have decided that i want to take on grad school, and i hope to be squared away and ready to start in January 2010 at IWU. i want to do their masters in counseling, my focus being on school counseling. i have thought about this quite a bit especially while i was working on my undergrad degree. my best friend reg and i would talk about various things we would be interested in doing after we graduated, and that one she always saw me doing, and i always kinda saw myself doing as well. however, the biggest hindering factor to me was money. it scares me to go into more debt, when i already have quite a bit. yet, it hit me one day, since to pursue higher education (unless you are or come from a wealthy family) is to deal with and pay off debt. it's just a part of it, and it's not worth getting scared over. if this is what i want to do i need to pursue it. and just realizing that has given me so much peace.

i always want control. i let that sense of wanting control ruin the fact that really i just need to have faith. i need to trust and know that its going to be okay. things don't always happen in the way or order we sometimes like but it doesn't mean that God is going to leave me alone. i find i need reminded of this often. perhaps i'll get it down someday.

livin. lovin. laughin.

WOW. craziness. a lot of moving around, a lot of visiting. a lot of me trying to figure out my life to some degree.

i'm just trying to think about what i want to do next. a masters in counseling? become a chiropractor? become a teacher? i don't know. money scares me. life scares me. or maybe american pressure and ideals scares me. i hate that you have to go into debt to do anything that this country deems acceptable.

luckily i have a very supportive husband. i also have an AMAZING God, who sometimes I just stink at trusting.

prayers for the journey of my life are much appreciated.

its been a while...

wow. so i've been kinda slacking in my blogging here lately. i guess summer will do that to you...spend more time outside doing things and less time in front of the computer shivering under a pile of blankets.

so our crazy travel heavy summer has begun.

we currently are in pittsburgh now. tom and jenine's wedding is this friday, and debo is one of the groomsmen. he will be gone with the boys from tomorrow afternoon on, which i think will be good for him to get some "man-time" with his good guy friends from college. i think the wedding will be a lot of fun, we'll get to see a lot of friends which i look forward too.

my mom and i have also been spending some good quality time together. we grabbed lunch at the cheescake factory yesterday and got ourselves petticures. we took a long walk, chatted non-stop, and just had a really nice time. *sigh* i love visiting my pittsburgh.

we'll be leaving here this upcoming sunday and then traveling 5 hrs to cinncinatti. debo's best man from our wedding is getting married the following saturday there, and debo is in that wedding. plus we are going to help debo's mom get packed all up as she is moving back out to philly/jersey area. then after the weekend as we see his mom off on her 12 hour journey, we're going to stop at the columbus zoo (debo and i love zoo's and animals!), before we make our way back to pittsburgh again.

we'll be there in time to celebrate my 23 b-day w/ my fam, and then the first two weeks of july we have tony mastris and becca's wedding, and then jenn reill and ron's wedding the following weekend. (at least it's all in the pittsburgh area!)

then we head to harmons, jamaica for two weeks at the end of july. we'll be there with the won by one missions organization.

then we fly back into pittsburgh, stay a couple days so i can see my cousin clare (who has left me for china most of the summer, and most of the time i'm in pittsburgh), and then we finally head back to indiana the last week of july, as debo's IWU RD training starts august 1.

crazy i know. it will be good i think though.

on a completely differnt note. debo and i just celebrated our 1 year anniversary on sunday. i can't believe it's been a year! life goes fast. we went to go see the movie UP together, and took a nice long walk, and then we had a delicious dinner w/ my family, and my mom had homemade chocolate cake to celebrate. it was lovely. this first year together has had a lot of challenges, a lot of transitions, and a lot of love. we're aiming for at least 49 more years together. hehehe.

from the picture vault: here's jon & i at my bridal shower in march '08

(surrounded by a bunch of my girl friends)

paint the silence.

how can you say your life is empty, so late in the day?
why would you stay another second? now your sight got in the way.
a combination of love and aggression, another second lived.
don't paint the silence black now save me,
don't leave it a day,
you got a right to stand or die so maybe,
you take chances all the same.
pain comes in stages
if we dont make it, nothing changes. ~ south "paint the silence"

this song is in my head. it reminds me of my freshman year of college. *sigh* ah memories. i listened to so much music that year.

i ran 5 1/2 miles today! it felt so amazing. debo and i are going to be running a half marathon this april so i'm hoping all my running will pay off, because although i'm sure i'll be walking some of the marathon, i'd like to at least jog a good half of the half, lol.

today is debo's birthday. i am making a funfetti cake, lol, i know i'm slacking i could do a homemade one, but the thing is he really loves funfetti cakes so i kinda wanted to do something he'd esp like. i also got him season 1 of Arrested Development, and a very nice and new power drill. he was very pleased.

the sun is shining here, i'm expecting some company so i guess i should get going. however i felt inclined to write something here as it has been a while. hopefully i'll have something more significant to post about soon!

a wednesday afternoon.

i've opened all the windows in our apartment letting a refreshing light breeze into our home. the sun is shining, the high for today a balmy 68 degrees, and this red-head is soaking it all in on her day off. it's perfect rollerblading weather! so, here's a snapshot of those well loved blades. what a nice pair those two pairs make? hehe. i'm going to get debo to go out with me this afternoon or evening for a glide about campus.

on another note. last semester our desk manager, Fussy, gave us a turkey because he knew we were making a pre-thanksgiving dinner for the RA's. however, at the time i didn't need it since i had the poultry already bought for that meal. he reminded me this week that indeed that 7 pound bird is still in our freezer and he said we should have him over for dinner. so, yes indeed, i have a turkey roasting in my oven, stuffed with stuffing, and a plan for red skin mashed potatos, corn and green beans. mmm. hopefully it will turn out okay, Fussy gave me his mom's recipe for stuffing so i decided to do that kind instead of my own. however, his recipe didn't give rounded measurment sizes or anything, which i guess with stuffing you usually wing anyway. however, it's just a little different from my stuffing so we'll see. all smells good though. we invited a few others over to join us so it should be fun.

lastly, i recieved my vincenzo rizzo watercolor painting late last week, and got it framed and hung up in the living room area of our apt. here's a shot of it nicely framed. so pretty. it's been nice having finishing touches of decorations hung about our walls.

i hope you all have a lovely day.

spring fever.

friday started out as a normal day. debo and i even traveled up to kokomo, IN (w/ a bunch of students) late that afternoon, to stop at goodwill & pac sun (one of our RA's had plans for both of these places). we came back and ordered a bunch of pizza. debo and his RA's went to do room check outs (because spring break week was starting) and i baked cookies with my friend maggie. later hannah showed up and us girls played some rummy. all was well.

around 12 or 1 am however, my stomach started to feel super queazy. to spare you the details, i was up all night and was very Very VERY sick. i haven't been that sick since i got the flu my junior year of high school. i am not sure if it was food poisoning or some sort of stomach flu bug. both ellie and keagan have been sick so i wasn't sure if i got it from those kiddos or if was just something all of its own.

however, i have to say that my hubbie was absolutely wonderful in taking care of me. he stayed up with me pretty much all night. he kept me drinking (which is hard to do when your stomach is queazy), held my hair back, and he did plenty of other things that i will spare you details about. he was just so great that even in my sickness i just found myself so in love with him. hehehe, that sounded cheesy and romantic, but none the less it was so true. he just makes me so happy.

so, saturday was spent recovering all day. i watched plenty of movies on TV and finally was able to eat something, calm my stomach and really sleep.

today i'm feeling a lot better, although i'm not going to push it. it's sunny outside and campus is eerily quiet. it's strange to be around when students are not. debo and i have some plans for this week however, which should be fun. i'm just hoping he himself doesn't get my bug.

*sigh* i just love this kid.

breakfast at tiffany's.

look how cute that turned out!

i'm shamefully a bisquick kind of pancake making girl. however, i stumbled upon this simple recipe from the blog "nesting habits". the pancakes turned out wonderfully. i added a pinch of powdered sugar on top, and perfecto. would you like to try a bite?

love. love. love. is all you need.

so debo and i decided we were going to celebrate valentines day next wednesday, since well he is on a retreat this weekend with his staff, and we both have off on wednesdays. i've been planning to wake him up with homemade heart shaped pancakes and sausage and of course eating them by candle light. then giving him the bunch of little surprises. i know cheesy, but it's fun.

debo however, had some surprises of his own. on friday i come home from work, and debo had bought me some fresh red tulips (my favorite) with the sweetest valentine card. he also had hearts scattered all about our apt, each with a number on the back of them and a word on the front of them. it was a puzzle. there were 48 hearts in all, and when i read them together there were lovely song lyrics.

then after i came back from the gym this afternoon, i get this text from him that says, "look in the wooden chest that's in the hallway." in the chest are more hearts and a box of heart shaped chocolates, and another valentine card. lol! isn't he cute?

*sigh* i love him.

happy valentines day! <3>all of your relationships.

*edit* debo also surprised me on sunday, after coming back from his retreat w/ this. he remembered! and i was so surprised. he truly spoiled me this year! what a sweetheart. */edit*