24.

i turn 24 tomorrow. it's no youth mile-stone like 16, 18, 21, or even 25. but i'm another year older. it's funny how fast life passes. i know it won't be long before i'm 30, then 40, then 60. yet this life is but a vapor in the grand scheme of things.

i have no idea what to expect. we have still had no news and the silence is deafening. i've cried, i've laughed, i've hoped, dreamed, wondered, and doubted. i've accepted fate and cringed at it, smiled gracefully at it and stomped my feet at it like a child in tantrum. it's been a roller coaster ride and i'd be lying if i said i haven't felt up and down about things.

however, God has challenged me to find hope in Him. after all, we are called to find joy even in our trials and tribulations, knowing that perservance produces character and character hope.

("Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." _Romans 5:1-5)

too often i hope for the things i want and not necessarily the things i need. luckily God knows the difference. there is a reason why things happened the way they did. i must take hope in that God knows best. he will not leave jonathan and i idle, He will guide us and take care of us. maybe in not the way we want, but always in the way we need.

my hope is that in this 24th year as i live that i will work to bring glory to my Father in ways i have failed to before. my hope is that He will bless me in that. i take hope in Him for He is the only things i can hope for.


"24 oceans. 24 skies. 24 failures. 24 tries.
24 finds me in 24th place. 24 drop outs at the end of the day.
life is not what i thought it was 24 hours ago.
still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you.
and i'm not who i thought i was 24 hours ago.
still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you.

24 reasons to admit that i'm wrong
with all my excuses still 24 strong.

see i'm not copping out. not copping out. not copping out.
when you're raising the dead in me."

you are my everything and i will adore you.

it's..
time to unclutter my life.
time to turn off all the noise.
time to remember why i'm here.

it's...
time to believe in true joy.
time to see with unjaded eyes.
time to stop distracting myself.

it's...
time to let go.
time to stop controlling.
time to trust.

it's...
time to love with open arms.
time to give with all my might.
time to let Him shoulder my fears.

it's...
time to be still.
time to know.


"Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in all the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." ~ Psalm 46:10-11

we need prayer.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 3:7-14

our life is changing big time. it's overwhelming and scary, and yes i'm terrified.
(no i am not pregnant).

i don't want to go into detail on here, but please pray for debo and i. even if this if it is just once, and just a minute prayer. please pray for God's direction, provision, peace, and strength for us. pray that our hearts may trust in Him, and His plan for us.

please pray that i can stand firm and not be shaken. we need this so deeply right now.

peace & love,

Laur