held to the past too aware of the pending.

"When we are at wits' end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own?" ~ Karl Barth

"But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?" ~ Galatians 4:9

free to be in Him.

so long sweet summer...

wow. it's been a little while.

i must say this september has been positively lovely. the weather has just been perfect, not too hot, not to cold, and def. ushering in what i hope to be a beautiful autumn. i absolutely adore the Fall. growing up in my family, fall meant a lot of traditions: pumpkin farm trip, pumpkin carving, family bon fires, birthday parties (for like 4 different cousins), long walks, craft show hopping, applefest, scary movie watching, thanksgiving gathering, steeler supporting (not to mention the start of hockey season), just to name a few.

sadly living 6 hours from my family just kinda sucks sometimes. i won't be able to do all of those things with them. *sigh* however, I will be in pittsburgh in october for a wedding i am in, and i'm staying a day and half afterwards just to spend time with my mama (which means= long walks, craftshow going). so i have to look on the brightside. plus, debo and i are going to hit up a local pumpkin farm here in indiana, and we are going to have our own thanksgiving this year with some of the RD's here over that break, i also hope to check out some different festivals and things in the marion/indianapolis area. you have to make the best out of where you are, so debo and i shall.

wow, God is so good. i am enjoying my fall here in indiana so far (which is saying something compared to last year). i think i'm just growing and i'm really okay with that.

i cannot do it all on my own.

just thought i'd post some photos of our 2nd year at IWU so far.

(our '09-10 staff of hodson boys <3)

(at the local water park)

(our sister staff, love these chicas)

(my husband being cheesy and romantic)

(debo had his staff dress up as soldiers for pictures, he just looked so cute i went in for a kiss)

far beyond the blaring street lights.

life is never picture perfect but some moments are quite sweet...

this start of our second year at IWU has been truly been wonderful. our RA staff this year is AMAZING. it's been so much fun and so easy to be real with them. last friday i ended up at the movies with two of our guys to see Julie & Julia because Debo was a punk and didn't want to go with me. we've together all gone frisbee golfing, campus golfing, swimming, making food, hanging out, and just becoming a close knit family of Hodson Hall. it's been such a blessing.

it has also been great already having built relationships with other students here and just continuing on with them, and it also makes meeting new students even easier. it's great to see guys (and girls) just feeling comfortable walking into our apt now (when the door is open, mind you) and feeling comfortable about sitting down and hanging out with us.

the RD staff this year is also great. i have been getting to know a lot of the girls, and although friendship building is a process, i def. know there will be some deepened friendships at the end of this year. i have had some lovely conversations already, and some good hang out time. i grabbing coffee this evening with a few girls tonight.

most importantly, i feel a peace with God that i have not had for such a long time. i feel like i remember why i'm here, and why my life has so much more meaning than what culture deems appropriate.

and with all of these amazing moments, yes, the imperfection has shown its face...

some conversations with our boys have been really heart breaking. there have been some situations i just can't fix and somethings are just out of my control. sometimes i still get down about what i should be doing next. i get down and frustrated with baby-sitting and loose patience with my kiddos. sometimes Debo and i argue because of something i said. sometimes i don't feel close to God, and i get distracted and caught up in other things.

however, even with these blemishes to a "picture perfect life" there is such a peace in knowing that He has got my back. a peace in knowing that when i catch myself worrying, and i think of how faulty and a waste of time it is, i start to stop. there's a peace that my main focus is shifting from emptiness (pointless distractions/worries/things) to being filled up with the Spirit. there's a peace in giving my time and energy into others, and loving them as much as i can. there's a peace in surrendering, even when it scares me, to the Lord.

i realize my posts lately have been God focused/spiritually saturated. and the last thing i want to sound like is a christian on a rampage or a christian cliche. the thing is i just see God moving me because i'm finally moving back to Him. it's just refreshing not to be obsessing over my money, my body, and my "me" time (i.e.: myself) and retreating instead into my Savior's arms.

"Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!" ~ Psalm 66:16-20