transition, a mission.

i took a test a while back from the book Strengths Finder 2.0. It has you take a 3o minute test online, giving you 30 seconds to answer where you fall on different scales. each side of the scale has very little to do with one another, but you have to choose which side most describes you. then the test proceeds to name your top five strengths. interestingly enough it does not tell you your weaknesses, mostly because it does not want people to use them as an excuse for why they cannot do something well.

when you find out your strengths it gives you a detailed analysis of what each one is and how they can be used. Debo had to take this test when he got his job at IWU, and after he took it he really wanted me to take it because it really gives you a lot of insight into yourself (kind of like personality tests and others can).

upon taking the test i wasn't surprised by what my strengths were, except for one. the one that happened to be my number 2 strength: ADAPTABILITY. i practically fell over when i read it. i laughed, "really? i mean really? this can't be true." it is my husband that is the adaptable one, he can adjust to any place, any person, any where. it's amazing (and one of his strengths).

me however, i feel the exact opposite. i'm the homebody, the non-adventurer. i like the idea of seeing the world, but i want to take someone i know along and i only want to visit. i could very easily live in pittsburgh my whole life, a block from my family, and be perfectly content. when i do leave home, my comfort zone, i freak out, i cry, i think about my family constantly, i become increasingly nostalgic (which makes matters worse), i get nervous, afraid, and i just long for some normalcy/familiarity. how do i know this? i know this from going off to college (1 hr away), from getting married and moving to indiana (6 hrs away), and now moving out to colorado (20+hrs away).

i sure don't feel very ADAPTABLE. i feel like i am a homesick, little girl. i guess eventually i adjust, but for it to be my actual strength? i just don't know.

Debo told me that even if something is supposed to be our strength from the test it may or may not be developed within us yet. like a resource still not tapped.

i feel so homesick. i miss pittsburgh. i miss family. i also miss indiana and our friends and students there. i guess i had adapted to life there, it had become another "home." i suppose with time colorado will too...but now, now it does not feel like home. it feels cold and distant and i just want to be at one of my home's.

perhaps all these changes will bring out my adaptability strength...but truthfully i wish it was already developed, because i hate transitioning. it's exhausting and scary and for me one of my greatest challenges.

*sigh* if you could. please pray for me in my transition.