24.

i turn 24 tomorrow. it's no youth mile-stone like 16, 18, 21, or even 25. but i'm another year older. it's funny how fast life passes. i know it won't be long before i'm 30, then 40, then 60. yet this life is but a vapor in the grand scheme of things.

i have no idea what to expect. we have still had no news and the silence is deafening. i've cried, i've laughed, i've hoped, dreamed, wondered, and doubted. i've accepted fate and cringed at it, smiled gracefully at it and stomped my feet at it like a child in tantrum. it's been a roller coaster ride and i'd be lying if i said i haven't felt up and down about things.

however, God has challenged me to find hope in Him. after all, we are called to find joy even in our trials and tribulations, knowing that perservance produces character and character hope.

("Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." _Romans 5:1-5)

too often i hope for the things i want and not necessarily the things i need. luckily God knows the difference. there is a reason why things happened the way they did. i must take hope in that God knows best. he will not leave jonathan and i idle, He will guide us and take care of us. maybe in not the way we want, but always in the way we need.

my hope is that in this 24th year as i live that i will work to bring glory to my Father in ways i have failed to before. my hope is that He will bless me in that. i take hope in Him for He is the only things i can hope for.


"24 oceans. 24 skies. 24 failures. 24 tries.
24 finds me in 24th place. 24 drop outs at the end of the day.
life is not what i thought it was 24 hours ago.
still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you.
and i'm not who i thought i was 24 hours ago.
still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you.

24 reasons to admit that i'm wrong
with all my excuses still 24 strong.

see i'm not copping out. not copping out. not copping out.
when you're raising the dead in me."