"remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels." ~Faith Whittlesey

perhaps it was because i was born a woman, but i have always had quite a heart for my kind.

mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, family, friends. visionaries, creators, leaders, rehabilitator's, peacekeepers, and survivors. we are made up of so much love, passion, strength, and joy.

and yet we are so undefinable.

our roles are and have always been so much deeper then the restraints society have ever imposed upon us.

we are a beautiful reflection of our creator. so much more then a pretty face.

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my dear friend suzannah was my youth leader in high school. she led my small group, and she always listened to our hard questions, and never judged us for those questions. she is a beautiful woman, and one of her recent blogposts at her blog so much shouting, so much laughter, is a bit of prose titled, "the daughters of Jerusalem."

Daughters of Jerusalem.

at 22, i let myself be talked into wearing heels at our wedding because

that is what brides [re: women] do, don'tyouknow?

worn once and dirtied from sinking into rain-dampened earth,

in photos i tower over my groom and am reminded

of a time i didn't listen to my instincts

i heed them better at 30

i cannot define Womanhood and suspect prescriptive labels of

running a size-too-small to cover each one appropriately

(aren't we, after all, created to image a creative, infinite God?)

your daughters will prophesy and re-imagine,

blazing trails and remaining faithful to the Spirit poured-out still

and i quit trying to squeeze my twice-swelled body into juniors' jeans,

embracing the woman i've become over the girl who once was

(original post here)

thanks for this, Suz.

and i told you to be patient

why does time move so fast?

especially when you want it to move so slow as to savor ever sight, moment, and taste. capturing it forever in your memory. holding it so closely so as not to lose it.

i had the great blessing to have two weeks off in arow. a week in pittsburgh and aweek in denver.

two very different worlds. both places i call home. each moment was full of either laughter & love, or rest & relaxation. i loved them all.

2010 was a tumultuous year. trying to figure out myself. losing a job and our home. living in pittsburgh with love and support from our family and friends. turning 24. celebrating 2 years of marriage. moving out to denver, colorado. meeting our students, finding a job, connecting with a church. having family and friends visit us. soaking in the splendor of the west.

i smile thinking of 2011. and as much as i don't want to time to move so fast, i also look forward to it passing. funny, huh? i look forward to students returning to campus, going skiing, getting to know our friends better, returning to jamaica, winter giving way to spring, having more friends and family visit, turning 25, celebrating 3 years, going to cape may NJ, being part of my cousin jena's wedding.

.

wishing you an amazing 2011.

so this is growing up.

PITTSBURGH.

i have always loved my city. even during my teens when most kids hate their hometown and are dying to escape, i found myself content with PGH. perhaps it was in my blood. my great great great grandparents on both sides of my family immigrated to pittsburgh from poland and scotland, over a hundred years ago.

then my great grandparents (on both sides) would eventually settle in lawrenceville, one of pittsburgh's largest neighborhoods. my parents would both grow up in lawrenceville and meet there, fall in love-marry-& have children there, and continue to live there now in the same house my dad grew up in. i loved living in this old, decrepit, lower-middle class neighborhood with its row homes, graffiti, and pure-blooded Yinzer's. i laugh at how it has became a renewedhub of artists and hipsters, when it was once so white trash (and thank goodness it has not lost its roots).

(44th street in l-ville)

although i have not lived in pittsburgh for the past 2 1/2 years, it always remains home in my heart. i know the city like the back of my hand, and have family on all sides of the rivers. i love our culture and our pride. i love our slang and the way pittsburgh has ability to laugh at itself because of it. so what if we talk funny? if we spoke proper english we'd sound like robots anyway. i love the Penguins and the Steelers, and well i love the Pirates...stadium. i love french fries on salads and sandwiches. i love the large senior community, especially my parents neighbors. i love bridges in various designs and colors. i love the old charm mixed with new and up-incoming. i love that all our sports teams are black & gold, definitive and unified.

i just spent a little over a week visiting friends and family in this city i grew up in. i enjoyed every minute of it and i usually do. i feel so blessed to have lived in one place most of my life and to have really known that place. i feel so blessed to have most of my family and quite a considerable amount of friends concentrated in one city. i was born here, grew up here, was educated here, fell in love here, and was truly loved here.

i learned a lot living in indiana for two years, and i absolutely love living in denver now, but well pittsburgh will always be near and dear to my heart.

so pittsburgh this post is for you. thanks for the memories.

"...and all i ask is that you'll be there when i return."

love & peace,

laur